Lauren Wu dot com

My friend Karen gave me a one-time 20% discount card for Sephora. Even though I don't wear makeup more than twice a year, I went hog wild and bought a bunch of stuff, including Bliss^TM lemon & sage body butter. Not to sound like a commercial, but it really works! I smear it all over my body after showering and it definitely makes my skin softer. Even D has noticed the improvement.

I looked at the ingredient list for yuks and what's the third thing on the list? Hydrogenated vegetable oil, a.k.a. trans fat. I kid you not. So if you have leftover Crisco shortening in your cabinet and you don't want to eat it (because it's bad for you), but don't want to throw it away and waste it... go ahead, rub it on yourself!

In his weblog, Gary Turner reported that face transplants are now possible. I thought he was joking until I followed the link:

"The technique would involve removing facial muscles and skin from a dead donor and placing them on another person."

"Surgeons have acknowledged that such a procedure raises major moral, ethical and psychological issues."

There's the understatement of the year.

Top twenty oxymora of 2003, according to oxymoronlist.com:

1. Microsoft Works
2. Healthy Tan
3. Jumbo Shrimp
4. Work Party
5. Dodge Ram
6. Virtual Reality
7. Tax Return
8. Working Vacation
9. Head Butt
10. Pretty Ugly
11. Peace Force
12. Tight Slacks
13. Plastic Glasses
14. Taped Live
15. Same Difference
16. Living Dead
17. Silent Scream
18. Personal Computer
19. Alone Together
20. Government Organization

A little wisdom from one of my favorite shows, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation:

"You can't have a career without a job".

... says Nick Stokes to Sarah Sidle after she complains about Gil Grissom's reassignment of her priorities. How true.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2003 winners:

• Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
• Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
• Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
• Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
• Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
• Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
• Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
• Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
• Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
• Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
• Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
• Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
• Glibido: All talk and no action.
• Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
• Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.

From Popular Science comes two great articles:

• Top 100 Technological Innovations of 2003 -- "from aviation to defibrillation, GPS to Wi-Fi, rotary to rocket". How can I convince D that we need a Canon EOS Digital Rebel (digital SLR)?
• Worst Jobs in Science -- did you know that "fart sniffer" is a bona fide occupation?

In other related news, CBS MarketWatch reports on the Ten Most Overpaid Jobs in the U.S. as determined by "compensation experts". Some of the occupations listed have already been hotly contested on Slashdot.

1. Mutual-fund managers
2. Washed-up pro athletes in long-term contracts
3. CEOs of poorly performing companies
4. Orthodontists
5. Motivational speakers and ex-politicians on the lecture circuit
6. Real estate agents selling high-end homes
7. Airport skycaps
8. West Coast longshoremen
9. Pilots for major airlines
10. Wedding photographers

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry drops his girlfriend's toothbrush in the toilet but doesn't tell her and she uses it? You may be using a similarly contaminated toothbrush without even knowing it.

From a WSJ article today about the results of a Harris poll of daily household-cleaning habits:

"Nearly 46% of the respondents said they have never sanitized their toothbrush, although it is recommended that you do so daily using peroxide or mouthwash, to protect against germs from the toilet bowl. Fecal matter and bacteria, it turns out, can spray as much as 20 feet upward when a toilet is flushed, Dr. Tierno says. So remember to lower the seat cover, and keep toothbrushes off the counter."

The research was funded by Brillo (yep, the sponge maker), and led by Dr. Philip Tierno, director of clinical microbiology and immunology at New York University Medical Center and author of "The Secret Life of Germs." Here are the the other findings from the study summarized in a table in the article: